Miles from Home

China Commentary– Youthful Musings on the Environment, Culture & Development

Buying in or Selling out from the Other Side of the World

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I spent last weekend just outside of Manchester, Tennessee on a 700 acre farm.  Over 3 days, i personally witnessed 35 live musical acts with 80,000 other music lovers.  In short, it was fucking awesome.  I apologize for the language but that’s the truth.  About 10 hours after my physical arrival, I noticed my spirit had arrived.  With no shirt, my trademark Mickey’s hat, and a bottle of Bud clutched in my left hand, I started dancing to a band called the Cold War Kids.  You know those moments in life when that shiver of energy moves from your toes up through the hairs on your head and there’s the sense that everything is right.  This was one of those moments.  I proceeded to spend the next 72 hours destroying my liver and rocking out.  Sleep was not an option.  Only after you fell down and could not regain an erect position was it acceptable to take a few hours of much needed rest. 

I returned to Denver after midnight the day after the show ended.  I was covered in dirt, I smelled and looked like shit (sorry to the people who sat next to me on the plane), and I felt like my brain had been shut off.  I just wanted a shower and my own bed.  On my drive home from the airport, I remembered the conversation my boss and I had the day before I left for Bonaroo.  I have been fed up lately over my lack of responsibility at work, not to mention the lack of pay.  Maybe I have cause to feel that way, maybe I don’t, but that’s how I feel.  So, I walked into the man’s office late in the afternoon to voice disapproval for my treatment. 

“What’s the timeline for me moving up in this organization,” I asked.

“Not for a long, long, long, long time,” he responded.  “At least another three years before you stop being the ‘junior guy.'”

Not exactly what I had wanted to hear.  But at that moment, I didn’t care, I was off to an epic music festival.

While in my car coming back from the airport, I recounted the conversation in my head, and I had another one of those moments when something clicks.  A huge grin spread across my dry, cracking lips.  “I’m going to quit,” popped into my brain.  Now, I’ve thought I was going to quit before.  Just ask my girlfriend.  I’ve said that phrase to her a hundred times.  She usually responds with “so do it already or shut up.” 

I called my best friend in the world and told him the news.   He laughed and said “I’ll believe it when I see it.”  I guess my girlfriend’s not the only person who I have said I’m planning on quitting to before.

I told him, “Alright J. Peso, I’ll see you on your front porch next week in the middle of the day, cause I’m serious.”  He told me he’d have a coldy ready just in case I wasn’t full of it.

I am writing this post from the desk that I’ve spent every weekday and countless weekends at for 13-15 hours at a time over the last 2+ years.  I’m still just as serious as I was when I was pulling onto I-70 on my way home from DIA.  I have been cleaning up the stacks of papers that surround me in between meetings.  I really am going to quit.

I’m breaking every rule they tell you not to break when quitting in corporate America.  I have no next job lined up.  Hell, I don’t even have a resume put together.  I have no plan beyond spending time with my girlfriend, my best friend, my family, and my dog.  I’m not giving 2 weeks notice.  I’m not sucking up to my boss to get a gravy letter of recommendation.  I’m just re-entering the world that exists outside of corporate America. 

Maybe it’s all a terrible idea.  I don’t think so.  I know I’m breaking the rules, especially the one about having a plan before you quit a job so you don’t end up lying on the couch until you want to shoot yourself.  I don’t care.  I don’t lie on couches like that.  I know I don’t.  In college I spent my free time running trails in the woods, reading philosphy, writing my thoughts.  I know this will be very different than my college life.  I also know that it’s what I need to do. 

I believe there is a voice that exists in each of us, I believe that voice is guided by the spirit that exists around itself, and I believe that to ignore your own voice is a mistake that inevitably leads to unhappiness. 

So here’s to you my friend Miles.  I congratulate your unadulterated ability to follow your own voice (see posting directly below).  Please, do not feel you have to apologize to those friends that you have left behind.  I suspect most of your true friends are following their own voices, and if they’re not, well they should reconsider.

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Written by bianj

June 21, 2007 at 8:37 pm

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