Miles from Home

China Commentary– Youthful Musings on the Environment, Culture & Development

According to my Bones…

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I visited a traditional Chinese healer last night.

The pseudo-clinic did not look very traditional. A barren glass display case and a small television warmed the white-on-white aesthetic of the waiting room. I could hear people moaning and yelping, grunting and gurgling in pain. Soothing, I thought.

I came with a two friends, my roommate and his girlfriend who served as our Chinese translator. She told me not to make a sound. If I did, the healer would not work on me as long as he could. So, after a brief massage by a nurse, I found my way into the back room ready to tough it out.

A skeleton mold of the human spine adorned his operating room. Reassuring, I thought. He began pressing on my back. My neck. My shoulder blades. Not so bad, I thought. He took out a short, thick, pointed wooden pestle and began prodding me. Chiseling.  Hammering.  Drilling. Wood-to-bone. No massage here, I thought.

Through translation, he told me:

“You have two bones in your neck of unequal size. Thus, you are a very impulsive person.” Impressive analysis straight off the bat.

“You do not sleep well. You wake up sweating.” Eh, not so much.

“You are very emotional. Constantly, you waver up and down.” Generic, but viable.

Then he offered to change my personality. He offered me stability and a calmer disposition, yet warned me that this means parting with my known personality for a while. This was a pretty peculiar conundrum. Did, do I really believe this man can change my personality by hammering on my bones with a wooden pestle? Do I really want to alter my personality? Am I that emotionally unstable?

Fuck it, I did it. What can I say? I am impulsive.

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Written by Miles

October 24, 2006 at 10:38 am

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